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Monsters
I carry these monsters inside of myself, and they douse me in darkness on days when all I want to do is see the light. Every attempt to reach forward is a struggle. Contacting people to drag myself out of this place is so difficult when you are pressed with irrational fears of being unwanted […]
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Do You Believe in Magic?
Does magic exist in reality, or is it something that can only exist in one’s imagination? An artist can take an ordinary writing utensil and with strokes of their wrist, they can take things from their imagination and put them out into the world for others to see. They can draw worlds otherwise non-existant […]
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Wishing Life Away
It has occurred to me on many (many, many) occasions that I often wish time would pass more quickly. When at work, I always find myself impatient for the time when I can be done with work. When driving, I wish I was at my destination. When looking forward to some event, I wish full […]
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Saturday
You can see someone who is receiving good things in their life and how positive their attitude is, and envy them because they can be positive due to always getting “blessed”. That’s an easy reaction. You can allow yourself to become even more bitter at your own lot, and all the things you wish were […]
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The Rambler
I have been having a lot of trouble with my eyes lately. It started on Tuesday night, when I acquired a pretty sizable blind spot where I couldn’t see what I was typing or read anything. It wasn’t a black spot, it was just… empty. We called it an ocular migraine and I went to […]
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Red to Brown
Ever since I wrote here the other day, I’ve been trying to decide what to write next. I gave myself such a lofty standard, that I would only write the truth, and now it seems that the truth is far too dangerous. I keep getting this mental image of myself going to a therapists and […]
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Meet the Author
It occurs to me that I spend a lot of time backspacing. In retrospect, I can see that my entries here are well guarded, heavily edited articles that don’t reflect a true image of who I really am. I know that I have written extensively about mental illness, but I almost always refer to it […]
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Fashion Glasses
Look, we all have complaints. Some of them are legitimate, but most of them are pretty petty and asinine. No one benefits from complaining. Not you, not anyone who hears you, not anyone or anything you are complaining about. But can we just all agree that complaining about menial things is kind of theraputic? I […]
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The Writer’s Dilemma
As a writer, I think that I have some lofty expectations for myself that reach far beyond the confines of my novels. I have been really feeling myself fall short in these last couple of weeks, though. Being November, during NaNoWriMo, I think it’s alright for me to touch on something that I’m sure a […]
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Push
I reached the point where I wanted to be a butterfly badly enough to stop living like a caterpillar. I looked around at my life, at all of the regrets and all of the heartache, and I told myself: “Stop it. Stop this cycle of mentally abusing yourself. You don’t have to live in these […]
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Maeby Today 